Building Community
Over the past few years there’s been a lot of talk about finding your tribe; in other words building community and partnership.
When you go onto social media, you are reminded at every turn to engage: to like, comment, share, and save the posts that give you a split-second value.
Please stay with me here: I’m not against social media! I am actively posting on LinkedIn and Instagram with tips around creating a fulfilling work-life balance. And empowering yourself to walk away from a job that fills you mostly with stress and anxiety.
I’m all for community and partnership, or whatever terms we use to describe this. But it’s important that you find your space in a community that’s wholesome; that is, it’s working for you.
You want to belong to a group of people who value you, who support you, and who care for you. And I’m sure you want to support them – as a group and as individuals.
You want to thrive as an integral part of the community and drive partnerships to share the winnings.
And, finally, this week, it’s all about building and finding that for you!
Quick note: If this is the first time you stumbled on this blog and you’re wondering what I’m on about, there are a couple of options for you to proceed:
- Continue reading – especially if this topic is calling to you!
- Go back to the start of this Celtic calendar exploration. The Beginnings Collection is about exploring your options and making good decisions.
- Find out more about this year-long journey of personal growth and manifesting your dreams.
Now, let’s return to this week’s topic of building community and partnership.
Inspirational Quote
Have you noticed, that there are many inspirational quotes with slightly different wording? This often occurs when it is impossible to attribute the quote to a specific person.
And let’s face it: some of the things we read we have often thought of ourselves already. They are, to put it bluntly, common sense.
That’s the case with this week’s inspirational quote:
“Supporting another person’s success won’t ever dampen yours.”
Unknown
Think about the last time you helped someone achieve something that they really cared about. Maybe a colleague asked you to read over a paper.
Or someone asked you to practise a mock-up job interview with them (and later that week you found out they got the job!).
It feels good, right?
Just writing this and remembering my own stories of helping others is giving me goosebumps.
The Joy of Giving
Which leads rather nicely into this topic: the joy of giving!
Helping others gives us a huge boost in endorphins (the feel good hormone). It hits all the right spots in the body and brain to help us expand.
Within a few seconds we feel valued, worthy, needed, and wanted. We belong, and others are recognising our strengths and talents.
It’s wonderful to give and it’s wonderful to be asked.
Let’s be honest: have you ever offered a friend, acquaintance or neighbour to ‘just let you know when they need anything’?
Yes, I know you have!
We do this often to form a deeper bond, to validate our position in the community, and to create a supportive environment.
And, how many times have you been taken up on that offer?
I’m going to stick my neck out here and suggest it was less than 1 in 10 times. Read on to find out why.
The Pain of Asking
From a young age, people encourage us to be independent. We receive praise for our attempts at self-sufficiency, and this positive reinforcement is creating a pattern that casts long shadows.
As adults, we often feel like we can – and should – do everything on our own.
Example: one day I was discussing short term goals with a coaching client and they said they wanted to get better at MS Excel. I was astounded because I knew they weren’t keen on working with data and in isolation. Questioning this goal it turned out they thought they’d become better value for the job market. Which, of course, is true – but it also dictates the job they are a great fit for (and that’s not the one they want).
Truth behind this story: we don’t like to ask for help!
It makes us vulnerable. It makes us feel less than perfect (and who wants to admit to that?).
And yet…you don’t think less of a person when they are asking for help, do you?
You feel great being recognized for your expertise!
The next time you try to do something on your own, think about asking someone for help: Most likely it would be simpler, faster, more efficient, and more joyful to have support with this task!
Building Community
Building community is about give and take. It’s helping the individual thrive, while at the same time creating something that makes the world better.
Community is a place where you feel like you belong, regardless of your quirks or qualifications. It builds upon what you have in common with those around you.
That’s how political parties, religious churches, and humanitarian organisations work. Often we belong to more than one community!
- Your workplace values you, sees you, empowers you, and challenges you (in a positive way*!).
- Your hobby brings you together with others; like a friend of mine dancing Tango! Or another breeding Clydesdale Horses.
- Maybe you’re the initiator of a community with your big dream – or your dream is part of your community’s endeavours. It all counts.
What’s important is that you feel good and enjoy your life within the community!
*If your workplace is less than great and you feel more anxiety than joy most days, please schedule a call to see if I might be able to help you out of that situation.
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